Put on some pants, I beg you

Consider this a public service announcement.  It is not a discussion and is not open for such, it is more of a reiteration of the rules of human decency.

I work in the mall.  My desk sits with a direct view of the stairs, so it happens that I get to see, not only the people who walk in front of the clinic, but also the people walking up the stairs and partially across the upstairs “hallway”.  This allows for my day dreaming during slow moments at work to be cut short rapidly by the visions of the general public that pass into my view.

So, here is comes.  The part that is not open for discussion.  Jogging pants. STOP wearing jogging pants.

I dislike all jogging pants.  This includes the infamous pyjama pants that were all the rage in the 90’s.  Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for these “comfy” pants, but the general public is not it.

No, I’m not done.  Yes, we are going to delve into this a little deeper.

Mens, light grey, elastic bottoms.  Those are the worst.  They almost bring out an anger from the pit of my stomach, it could also be nausea, but for now, let’s say it’s anger.  I could never figure it out, what about them bothered me so much.  Until one day a friend of mine at work said “it’s like a bag of baby mice”.  That’s it!  If it doesn’t dawn on you what that might be referring to, just stop thinking about it, it’s for the better.  Let’s leave a little to the imagination boys, even if it is “a little”.

So, where are jogging pants acceptable, you ask?  In your own home.  When you are sick and leaving the house to go to a) the hospital b) the clinic c) the drugstore.  I’ll even accept when skating, or walking in the woods, camping, summer cottage evenings.  You get the point right?

“But Natalie, what about people who can’t afford other pants and have those pants donated to them?”  I have a soul, I understand, but for the most part I think the general public should be able to put on pants, actual pants, before leaving the house.  Have no mirror?  Don’t know that you look like you have given up on life?  I don’t accept that as an excuse, for no makeup, or for your makeup looking like you put it on in the dark, sure, maybe.  You have no mirrors or reflective surfaces in your dwelling and are still trying to look like a functioning member of society, I congratulate you on your effort.  But no mirror is no excuse for no pants.  You can look down and see that you have a sorry excuse for pants on.

In short.  The way you dress and present yourself shows the world the level of respect you have for yourself.  I am all for being casual, but I think some of you have taken it a little too far.


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